Oolaa
G/F, Centre Stage, Bridges Street, Soho, Central
http://www.casteloconcepts.com/locations/hong-kong/oolaa-hong-kong
18 February 2012, Lunch
~$260 per head
As the title of this post might suggest, this is yet another instalment of Locusts' eating-adventure-gone-bad. On this cool Saturday afternoon, we decided to visit this rather remote establishment near Central. Located to the west of Aberdeen Road and accessible via Stanton Street, the "Soho" in the address is rather questionable. However, other than that one might find it difficult to describe this area.
The restaurant is much larger than we imagined (or realised, since we've walked past this place a few times already) and comprise of a bar, dining area, private dining and an outdoor area, which occupies almost the entire ground floor of the Centrestage Towers. We were reassured by the fact that the establishment was packed with people and went for it.
To go straight to the point, 1) there was almost no service; 2) food was crap; 3) overpriced.
For me, the only saving grace was the pint of Kronenbourg 1664 and the half pint of Asahi, which were nice and not often available as draught in Hong Kong.
To begin with, Nobody gave a damn when we entered the restaurant. Waitresses (and there were many) walked by and none thought of at least checking out what the two customers who just came in wanted. Find us a table, anyone? Perhaps being Chinese in a restaurant where almost all diners are Gwei-los surely didn't help, but I do consider finding your customers a table or telling them you don't have one to be basic hospitality.
After stopping a lady who seemed to be the manager for a table and being shoo-ed off to a high table in the bar (nobody ever asked what we wanted - we were here for freggin LUNCH and there were obviously tables in the dining area!), we asked for a menu. And I thought it's a common practice to show your customers the menu as see what they want. Anyway, we had to ask two separate wait-staff and finally got to appreciate the menu after a good 5-minute wait.
Now, it would be normal to expect that the place was understaffed and the house crew were stretched too thin to provide any quality service -- no, the place was freggin SWARMING with wait-staff, most appearing to be extremely busy, or at least trying to seem to be extremely busy by wandering around all the time. WTF, really?
Steak Tartare with Roquefort foam, quails egg, Turkish toasts and a gazpacho ‘shot’ ($160) -- worst I've ever had...
This steak tartare was the worst I've ever had. By far. Its problems are many:
1) The freggin patty / dollop / pile of meat was almost certainly minced in a mincer instead of chopped, as it should be.
2) Quite a bit of white tendon bits...
3) That pile of meat has definitely sat in a cylindrical container for ages -- long enough that even with the help of a fork and a knife, I had difficulty breaking it up. It was basically a solid lump of mushy meat.
4) Why I have to break it up? Well, the damn thing isn't seasoned AT ALL. The gherkin was on the side, the cheese foam was on the side, the mustard was on the side.
5) I had to chop-my-own-gherkin.
6) Mustard is of the cheapest, supermarket variety -- much like those they use on cheap hotdog stands.
7) The toasts were rock-hard. And they were dry.
The list can easily go on. And come on, a tiny pile of poorly-made steak tartare for $160? Are you serious??
Linguini alle Vongole with fresh clams, scorched tomatoes, saffron; in a white wine garlic sauce ($130) -- rubbery clams
Locust Tunghok's main, which I had a few bites. Again very poorly executed and not balanced at all. The clams were FUBB (i.e. f-ed up beyond believe) -- so overcooked that half the clams were separated from their shells. For a while, we thought the shells were there for decorative purpose only. The meat, of course, was rubbery and tasteless. Except for a few pieces which had a disturbingly prominent fishy after-taste...
And the taste. Saffron? White Wine? Garlic? I tasted none of those. The overwhelming flavour in the pasta was of the spiciness of chilli. Nothing else. The linguini itself might have been al dente-ish, but that didn't really help much.
Eggs Benedict - 2 poached eggs; with citrus hollandaise (OPTION: smoked salmon & buttered baby spinach) ($95) -- WTF?
Again, a massive screw-up. The looks, at first, might be promising. The poached egg, at least, look somewhat proper. But no, this Eggs Benedict was a mess. Why:
1) hollandaise sauce can only be enjoyed by the eye -- it was basically tasteless.
2) the smoked salmon seems to have been unpacked, defrosted and left in the kitchen for hours. Texture was mushy and it was basically falling apart.
3) what are those stalks doing there? I love these kind of stalks stir-fried with garlic, Chinese style. Not in my Eggs Benedict thank you. And this veg just didn't work with the salmon at all.
4) I couldn't taste the *buttered* part at all...
5) Whilst the English muffin in this looked fine (it was still a bit dry), the bottom of the other muffin (there were two, as normal) was absolutely solid. So tough that I couldn't even cut it with my knife. I wonder how long that has been aged...
Luckily, the poached egg was OK, with a perfectly runny yolk. But then, given the other screw-ups, that really didn't compensate enough... And come on, at $95 I do expect to have some sides to go with this, or given that they charge for the sides ($25-30), at least some plating? Presentation was just that, 2 Eggs Benedict on a large and rather empty plate.
When we left, I couldn't shake this thought off me: perhaps, perhaps, this place is so full because this is a convenient place for a drink for the foreigners living above? Unlike the food, their beer was decent. Having sampled a bit of breakfast menu, starter and pasta, and given the excessive price tag, I really wouldn't have the stupidity to come again, and I would suggest you to avoid this place as well.
Summary (rated 1-5):
Food: (2/5) The beer certainly helped. Otherwise I would have given a 1.5, if not a 1.
Service: (1.5/5) Simply horrid.
Environment: (3.5/5) Actually quite like the ambience and the ample sunlight in the restaurant. Bit too noisy though.
Big Locust's Recommendation: (2/5) Don't Bother. No point wasting your hard-earned cash here.
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